Real Talk: A fear of failure

What scares you?

I don’t mean the deep fears, the ones rooted in some dark psychological place that is far too serious for my blog. I mean the little, trivial ones. Scary things like clowns, horror movies, or spiders.

No, these aren’t personal… why do you ask?

Amen, Ron.

I like to think that not much scares me on a superficial level. I know my friends will argue — they’ve seen my face when someone suggests we watch the latest Saw movie. HOWEVER. It is completely logical to dislike scary movies. I mean, why would I want to be scared for the fun of it? Scary =/= fun.

Sorry, tangent. That’s not the point. The point is, I’m going to share with you something that scares me.

Failure.

I know, that’s a cop-out fear. After all, doesn’t everyone fear failure? Who walks around and thinks, “You know, I’d like to fail today.” Not I, said Virginia. I was born with a healthy spirit of competition and a need to win at everything. I’m sure that doesn’t stem from growing up in a competitive family or anything.

A year or so ago, my cousin directed me to the TED Talks website. It’s a collection of inspirational and thought-provoking talks given by various celebrities, writers, artists, and other innovators. If you have time, head on over and take a look — but I’m going to embed my favorite below.

In 2008, JK Rowling (she of the Harry Potter genius) gave the commencement address at Harvard University. Obviously, I didn’t go to Harvard — but a generous soul filmed her speech, and it’s available as a TED Talk. The topic of her address?

The Importance of Imagination and the Fringe Benefits of Failure.

It’s a very entertaining speech, and if you’ve got some time, I would encourage you to listen to all of it. I could dissect the entire thing, but that would take more time than we have today.

But what does all this have to do with me?

Well, I’m starting a new project — a project that strikes fear in my heart. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but it’s something that’s going to open me up to outside criticism, likely rejection, and possible failure.

I’m writing a book.

It’s taken a while, but I have an idea. I have a main character who’s taken grasp in my head as well as several supporting ones (I promise I’m not schizophrenic). I’m working on supporting documents, character maps, and I have a playlist (because obviously, there must be music).

It gives you WINGS.

I hope to use this space as a sort of look into my writing process — which I’ll go ahead and tell you, won’t be very interesting. Random internet browsing, doing research on the most peculiar things (after a rousing game of Six Degrees of Wikipedia), and lots of caffeine ingestion. But I have a goal, and by year’s end, I’m going to accomplish it.

It’s going to be a wild ride! But I’m glad to have y’all there with me.